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Tuesday, July 29, 2014  |  149 Days Until Christmas
   
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Stories, Poems and Humor
Left Book Twas the Night Before Christmas - Ebonics Version
by Unknown
Right Book

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Group: Humor & Fun
Language: English



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Wuz de nite befo Crimmus; And all ower da hood;
ereybody wuz' sleepin'; Dey wuz sleepin' good.
We hunged up our stockings; An hoped like de' heck;
Dat old Santa Clause; Be bringin' our check.
All o'de fambily; Wuz layin in de beds;
While Ripple and Thunderbird; Danced through dey heads.
I passed out inna' flo; Right nex to my Maw;
When I heard sech a fuss; I thunk: "It mus be de law!!!"
I looked out thru de bars; What covered my doe;
'spectin' de sheriff; Wif a warrent fo sho.
And what did I see; said, "Lawd look at dat!!"
Ther' wuz a huge watermellon; Pulled by giant warf rats!!
Now ober all de years; Sanna Clause, he be white;
But looks liken us bros; Gets a black Sanna dis nite.
Faster dan a Po'lees car; My home boy he came;
He whupped on dem warf rats; An' called dem by name!
On Leroy, on 'Lonzo; And on Willie Lee;
On Saphire, on Chenequa; Dey wuz a site to see!!
As he landed dat watta' mellon; Out der in da skreet;
I knowed it was fo' sho'; Da damndest site I ebber did see.
He didn't go down no chimbley; He picked da' lock on my doe;
An' I sez to myself; "He done dis befoe!!!"
He had dis big bag; Full of prezents I 'xpect;
Wid Air Jordans and fake gold; To wear roun' my neck.
But he left no good prezents; Jus started stealing my stuff;
Got my drugs, got my guns, Even got my burglar's kit!!
Wit my stuff in de bag; Out da window he flewed;
I woudda' tried to catched him; But he stoled my 'nife too!!
He jumped on dat wadda' mellon; An' whipped out a switch;
He wuz gone in a seccon'; Dat son of a _____!!
Next year I be hopin': Anutha Sanna we git;
Cuz' diz here Sanna Clause; Jus' ain't werf a damn!!!



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