SantaSearch  |  Operation SantaSearch  |  Contact Us  |  Site Map
.ORG
Wednesday, July 23, 2014  |  155 Days Until Christmas
   
holly holly and candycane bar holly
Stories, Poems and Humor
Left Book Da Night Before Christmas
by Da Yoopers
Right Book

Cast Your Vote!


Current Rating
Not Rated

» Rate this resource «
on a scale of 1 to 5,
with 5 being best.


Statistics


Hits: 1813
Group: Humor & Fun
Language: English



Send some Christmas spirit through your computer with our fun, free e-cards.
Something for everyone from interactive games to crafts and coloring, there's always something to do in our Kids area.



Twas da night before Christmas in dis Yooper house,
and nuttin' was stirrin', not even our mouse.
The rest of da family was all fast asleep
wit' visions of pasties delivered by jeep.
Da swampers was hung by da chiminey wit care
in hopes dat Saint Nicolas soon would be dere.
And in da far corner it was lovely to see
the Bosch cans and cabbage dat hung from da tree.
Ma home from the mine and me out on parole,
she was snuggled in bed; I was perched on da bowl.
Then alluva sudden da house starts to shudder,
some nut's on da roof and he broke da rain gutter.
He jumps down the chimney and swears cause it's tight
As I hide behind beer cases, way outta sight.
He lands in da fireplace scorching his hair
on a busted up orange crate still burning in nere.
He climbs outta da fireplace and I take a long look,
he's just like they show him in my coloring book.
With vodka-glazed eyes and a stomach like a bubble,
a five-day-old beard and dere's soot on his stubble.
His teeth when he smiles look like Grampa's weed-saw,
and he wore tennis shoes big as grizzly bear's paw.
This old Yooper elf gives me nothing to fear
as he heads for da kitchen for cookies and beer.
He kills off a six pack then belches and smirks,
and reaches into the playdoh sack, ready to work.
Now under da tree he's starting to set
the most beautiful presents us Yoopers can get.
Dere's a new pastymatic and snowblower for mother,
a steel chainsaw and some swampers for brother.
Some mud flaps, CB, and new-used weedwacker,
a helmet and nightshirt dat say "Green Bay Packers".
He close up da sack and he jumps in da coals
and hollering "OUCH!", up the chiminey he rose.
He grunted and groaned as he tossed out his bag
and cracked such a beer fart (ugh) I'm starting to gag.
I must watch him leave so I rushes outside,
I looks up at da roof while in bushes I hide.
And what does I see when I looks through da twigs?
A rusted old car body, pulled by eight pigs!
Santy jumped in and he gave 'em all hell,
"Let's go all yous pigs, don't just sit there and smell!
On Mushy and Mushy and Lempy and Joe
and all a you's others what names I don't know.
Fly over Negaunee and turn to da right,
we make Houghton-Hancock before I get tight."
Then I hear him exclaim with a cynical sneer
"Pull in at dat Bosch sign, I run outta beer!!"



Printer Friendly Page




If you suspect a misspelling, omission or other error in the above, please contact us describing the suspected error so that we can correct it.

If you're seeking help with locating a Holiday favorite, we invite you to join our Christmas Community Forums, where you can post a request for assistance in Christmas Stories, Poetry and Humor.

More resources can be found under Stories & Poetry and Humor in our Christmas Directory.




Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Twitter

Like this site? Share it.
Share |

holly holly and candycane bar holly
Like this site?
Share it.

Santa's Library

Browse by Title
A B C D E F G
H I J K L M N
O P Q R S T U
V W X Y Z    
Browse by Author
A B C D E F G
H I J K L M N
O P Q R S T U
V W X Y Z    
Our Favorite Links
More resources can be found under Stories & Poetry and Humor in our Christmas Directory.

Grab a parent and write your letter to Santa!
Click here to browse Christmas music, songs and lyrics.



All external sites will open in a new browser. SantaSearch does not endorse external sites.

© Copyright 1996 - 2014 SantaSearch. All Rights Reserved.
All Toon images are copyright © 1997 - 2014 Ron Leishman.
No images may be resold or redistributed without prior written permission from Ron Leishman and SantaSearch.
Terms under which this service is provided to you. Read our privacy guidelines. Contact us.
v2.3