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holly holly and candycane bar holly
Stories, Poems and Humor
Left Book Twas the Night Before Christmas - Revised Version
by Carlson, Judy
Right Book

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Group: Humor & Fun
Language: English



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'Twas the night before Christmas, and I couldn't sleep.
My sister was snoring too loudly--the creep!
So in my nightie, with socks on my feet,
Skipped out to the kitchen to see what was to eat.

I was stuffing down cookies when I heard someone humming
The theme song from STAR WARS--someone was coming!
Then from the chimney, I heard a loud crash,
And out of the fireplace fell a girl (and some ash).

"Oh, hi," she said calmly, dripping snow water,
"I'm Holly St. Nicholas--Santa's granddaughter."
She was dressed in old jeans and had curly red hair,
And her coat that read "North Pole is Cool" had a tear.

"Where's Santa?" I asked. "I hope he's all right."
"Oh, yes," Holly said. "He's on TV tonight!
Johnny Carson asked gramps to guest-host his show.
He needed exposure. He needed the dough.

His income from visiting stores wasn't good,
So he acquired an agent. He's gone Hollywood!
He's in CHRISTMAS LAGOON--co-starring Brooke Shields,
Next is SMOKEY AND SANTA with cute Sally Field."

Then Holly Claus groaned as she looked in her sack.
"This bag is no feather--my poor aching back!"
"Some oranges and walnuts," I cried. "Is that IT?"
She shrugged and said, "Yep. Inflation has hit."

The she looked at her watch and said, "Oh, no! I'm late.
I must be in Oshkosh at twelve fifty-eight."
I looked at the reindeer. "Are these the well-known?"
Holly said, "No--they have careers of their own."

"Comet and Cupid dance on Lawrence Welk.
Dasher's in nature films, passing off as an elk.
Fly! is a rock group with Prance, Dance, and Vixen.
Donner does nightclubs with impressions of Nixon.

"I've named them these nice new ones after my favorite men!"
She sprang to her sleigh. "Time to call them again!
On Redford, Travolta, and B. Manilow!
On Pacino,DeNiro, and John McEnroe!

"To the corner split-level, to the new shopping mall!
Dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"
Then I heard her exclaim as she lurched out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!"



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