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holly holly and candycane bar holly
Stories, Poems and Humor
Left Book Christmas Limericks
by Unknown
Right Book

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Group: Humor & Fun
Language: English



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There was a young reindeer named Nate
Who at Christmas would procrastinate
"I'll buy presents tomorrow,"
He'd say, to his sorrow,
for Christmas by Easter's too late.

*****

There once was a woman named Bess
For whom holiday cooking meant stress.
Five puddings, ten turkeys
And a thousand beef jerkeys -
Bess did tend to cook to excess.

*****

There once was a lawyer named Ray
who filed new lawsuits each day.
When Christmas came round,
In his stocking Ray found
some coal, and an old canapé.

*****

Now Rudolph was eating his hay
When Santa said, "Up, up away!"
So Rudy packed a hay snack
in a reindeer backpack
For a tasty in-transit soufflé.

*****

There once was a lass named Priscilla
Who spent Christmastime with her gorilla.
They'd wear red bandannas
and roast their bananas
with cinnamon, grubs and vanilla.

*****

There once was an old Eskimo
who hated the cold and the snow
When Christmastime came
"I'm too cold!" she'd exclaim
So she flew her igloo to Acapulco.

*****

There once was an elf named Fred
Whose house was of gingerbread.
Though tasty, these walls
dissolved in snowfalls
And also made crumbs in Fred's bed.

*****

One Christmas we made a great fire
And built it up higher and higher.
So when Santa came down
the chimney, he'd frown
And complain, "You've made me perspire!"

*****

There once was a greedy boy Paul
Who got every toy he could haul.
So much he'd consume
his house ran out of room
so Paul moved into Fair Oaks Mall.

*****

At Christmas, the big ape King Kong
Sang carols clad in a sarong.
But all of his neighbors
would brandish their sabers
for he got all the choruses wrong.



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