The first thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
finding a Christmas tree.

The second thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree.

The third thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Hang-overs
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree.

The fourth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Sending Christmas cards
Hang-overs
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree.

The fifth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
five months of bills
sending Christmas cards
Hang-overs
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree.

The sixth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
facing my in-laws
five months of bills
oh I hate those Christmas cards
Hang-overs
Rigging up these lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The seventh thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
the Salvation Army
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills
sending Christmas cards
Oh Geez
I’m trying to rig up these lights
And finding a Christmas Tree

The eighth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
I want a Transformer for Christmas
Charities and what do you me:an your in-laws
Five months of bills
Oh making out these cards
Edith get me: a beer huh?
What we have no extension cords
And finding a Christmas Tree

The ninth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Finding parking spaces
Daddy I want some candy
Donations
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills
Writing out those Christmas cards
Hang-overs
Now why they Hell are they blinking
And finding a Christmas Tree

The tenth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Batteries not included
No parking spaces
Buy me something
Get a job you bum
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills.
Yo-Ho sending those Christmas cards
Ah geez look at this
One light goes out they all go out
And finding a Christmas tree

The eleventh thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Stale TV Specials
Batteries not included
No parking spaces
I got to go to the bathroom
Charities
She’s a witch I hate her
Five months of bills
I don’t even know half these people
Who’s got the toilet paper huh?
Turn on the flashlight I blew a fuse
And finding a Christmas tree

The twelfth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Singing Christmas carols
Stale TV specials
Batteries not included
No parking
aghhh
Charities
Got to make ‘em dinner
Five months of bills
I’m not sending them this year. That’s it
Shut up, you
Fine you’re so smart you rig up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree