It's a difficult responsibility
That you accept from the Number 1 lawmaker, me
Have it known throughout the land from sea to sea
There'll be no more toy makers to the King!

All the tin soldiers -- melt them down
Wash the face of every clown
Each bouncing ball -- deflate it
No, I don't want to debate it!
The ballerinas who pirouette
Arrest their musical toes
Outlaw the dolls and sink the boats
They bring me only woes!

It's a difficult responsibility
That you accept from the Number 1 lawmaker, me
Have it known throughout the land from sea to sea
There'll be no more toy makers to the King!

Every jack-in-the-box be sealed
Till my wounded pride be healed
Stuffed animals -- unstuff them!
When a child objects -- rebuff 'em!
No more drummers who rat-a-tat-tat
No buglers who root-a-toot-toot
Don't let me see another toy
Or you will feel my boot!

It's a difficult responsibility
That he extract from the Number 1 law keeper, me
Be it known throughout the land from sea to sea
Toys are hereby declared Illegal, immoral, unlawful
AND
Anyone found with a toy in his possession
Will be placed under arrest and thrown in the dungeon!
There'll be no more toy makers to the King!